Vent... Sorry readers

I really apologise but I really need a vent...   We have 2 attempts at IUI left before we will be advised to go with IVF which we aren't able to do for financial reasons etc. We have two more chances for my wife to fall pregnant before we have to move on from this dream... For now if not for good. IUI won't be offered to me because of past issues which almost certainly mean IVF.  I sit back and watch undeserving people live my dreams and waste them. Even just within my family there is one woman that has had four abortions in the last year... There is another with three beautiful boys under five that have already lived in three states in their short lives... And a male family member with one child he doesn't bother seeing, two that have been removed from his care and now has some young thing pregnant again...  I am so mad. I am so hopeless at the moment. I can't tell my wife how I'm feeling - I don't want her to to know I'm feeling this way. I'm trying so hard to be positive for her, for us...  Ugh. Vent over. Sorry readers :/